My name is Lucy, and I am going to kill you.

11th November 2011

Question

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Lucy would say:

“WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THIS?! I am a cat, dammit! How DARE you refer to me as human. Humans are ugly and provide nothing but lap warmth and some food when I want it. The only humans I like are my own four humans and occasionally some of their friends.

I guess I can speak about the first memory of my own humans. I’ve always been a fucking bad-ass, but I used to be a ruthless street cat back in the day, fighting for food and killing birds and sleeping in bags. Yes, I know, it sounds glamorous, but I was tired of getting blood and dirt in my BEAUTIFUL white coat, so I decided I should try to settle down. The only problem was with who. Who would be worthy enough to share a bed with me?

One afternoon, I was taking my afternoon nap in a bush near a neighborhood walking trail, when I heard someone coming. Usually, I don’t bother letting my presence known to lesser beings, but something told me that this person was different so I decided to investigate. I crawled out of my hiding spot and saw a human of the female variety taking a walk. I quietly walked behind her for a few feet to make sure she wasn’t a crazy cat rapist or serial killer, then announced myself with the cutest “meow” I could muster (usually my “meows” are accompanied by some sort of cat expletive or swear word). She turned around, smiled, and began talking to me. Her voice was sweet, she had a clear cat vibe, and she knew how to pet me without ruffling my fur. More importantly, this was the first real bond I ever felt with a human. It was pretty instantaneous.

After a few minutes of attention, she stood back up and started to walk away. “Bye, kitty!” she called, over her shoulder.

I trotted after her. If she thought she could get rid of me that easily, she was sorely mistaken. I followed her all the way to her house and charged through the front door even before I was invited in (oh, the cleverness of me!). The nice human called to the other residents of the house - two younger females (one had blonde hair and smelled like candy, the other had brown hair and a cordless phone attached to her ear - both of them fawned over me and were like putty in my paws), one older male (he seemed strict, but it only took me a week to charm him and win him over), and one FUCKING mangy mutt whom they called Merlyn (I HATE DOGS. HATE THEM. But Merlyn got me out of some tough spats involving drug deals with the other neighborhood cats, so we learned to respect each other).

And, well, the rest is history. The house was big, the humans were tolerable (even pleasant at times, I will admit) - they pet me, gave me chin rubs, fed me, let me sleep in the crooks of their knees at night, and let me rub against them. I made sure to mark my territory every chance I could, and I remained the Boss Bitch of the house for 11 out of my 16 or 17 years.

Good fucking times, man. Good fucking times.”

11th November 2011

Post

Dear Friends of Lucy,

Although not many of you follow this blog - and those of you who do probably follow our personal Tumblrs and already got the news - but Lucy passed away on Wednesday, November 9th, 2011. She suffered from general kitty old-age and kidney issues, and gave us signs that she was ready to move on. She passed away peacefully and comfortably.

Usually when we post we speak on Lucy’s behalf, but from this point forward, we’ll be posting stories and photos about our Little Lu as well. If any of you happen to have photos of Lucy or a story you’d like to share, put it in our ask box (“You’d BETTER have lovely things to say about me, or my ghost will scratch the shit out of you.” - says Lu).

xo Leah and Simone

6th September 2011

Post reblogged from sketchy is the new sexy! with 7 notes

Child sized cot is tying the knot!!!!

danzilla:

I am so excited for this

SQUEE SQUEE SQUEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source: danzilla